I've had all I can stands, and I can't stands no more

The Stand

It should have been a simple transaction. Having decided that a stand for my iPad would be a handy thing to have -- and that several such stands cold be had for under $15 at amazon.com, I glanced at the available models and ordered one. I've been a "Prime" member since that service began, and I suppose it's made be just a tad lazier over the years -- add to that the fact that retail shops often don't carry such small accessories -- so for things such as this one, I just click and expect to see it at my doorstep in two days.

But in this case, that was a false hope. The first stand, ordered on a Tuesday, was supposed to be delivered on Thursday. Alas, when I went to check its status, I was told that it was "now expected Monday." No reason was given, but I noticed that the shipper was an entity previously unknown to me, "Amazon Logistics." There was a "tracking number" but no link to any actual live tracking of any kind.

"I've had all I can stands ...."

So I did what I'd done on other occasions -- I ordered another. This one was slated to arrive on Sunday, so at least I'd have it sooner; I could always return the delayed one, after all. So I waited. And then, just as mysteriously as the first, the second stand went into limbo -- no sign of it, no tracking. The first one now simply said "delayed" and to call if it hadn't arrived by Sunday. So I called, and was given a refund, which came with the caveat that I was to return the stand "when delivered." So with no stand in hand, and none on the horizon, I ordered a third one, due to be delivered on Tuesday

Then on Monday, a miracle occurred -- the delayed stand from Sunday was delivered, by the reliable US Postal service -- they even put it in the mailbox! When Tuesday rolled 'round, I checked online for the third stand, and was initially pleased to see it, too, was marked as delivered, by UPS -- another carrier I generally trust. That is, before I checked and found that someone named "Linda" had signed for it -- who was this Linda? I called amazon, and they told me that in fact it hadn't been delivered by UPS (despite having a valid UPS tracking number) -- but rather by my old friend "Amazon Logistics"! I was issued a refund for that stand. So finally, six days after my order, I had a sort of resolution -- I had, after all, gotten a stand -- but there were still a few dangling threads. What had become of the first stand -- would it travel the world, unable to be returned or delivered, like the legendary "Man who Never Returned" on the MBTA? And what about Linda -- was she enjoying her stand? Or did she even exist? And as for Amazon Logistics, there remained a final puzzle: why would a company that prides itself on quick and reliable delivery launch a new "service" -- one whose packages can't be tracked, and which failed to deliver or mis-delivered two out of three packages of mine in less than a week? First world problems, I know -- but still, the whole affair left me with a good deal less confidence in the ability of amazon.com to "deliver smiles" -- they looked more like crooked arrows now.